What was I thinking??

What were WE thinking?

Back in June, when both Steve and I were starting to get really disgusted with the current way California keeps cutting education in the budget, the thought of homeschooling would drift into our thoughts and discussions about our bright, soon to be, third grade son. Neither of us had any previous experience with it. In the past, the idea of the stereotypical home-schooled, socially awkward child would have made us go running in the opposite direction. Screaming even! The current lack of funding has our school district dropping their dedicated PE, science, art, music and library teachers. They had decided that shaving 5 days off the school calendar would save a lot of money. The teachers are expected to increase their class sizes from 20:1 to 30:1. There will be an increase of teachers' furlough days by at least double the amount there are now. Where is the teacher's incentive to teach these kids? The frustration would be obvious and all at the expense of our kids.

Our boy was also having issues with his overly-strict, second grade teacher who increasingly made my boy "the example" in class. In the last half of the year, he began hating school. Some of his fellow students knew he was an easy target and would purposely tattle on him for any and every reason and then of course, leading him into more trouble. He was constantly "flipping cards" (a disciplinary action where they lose privileges, including recess). On the third to last day of school, I witnessed him getting yelled at after recess while waiting in line to go to class. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot watching all the kids jumping, laughing - excited school was to be out soon. I was smiling to myself as I remembered how exciting the last days before summer vacation were to me. I saw many kids throw their lunch boxes in the air, while some were running around. I could see my son standing in line, chatting with a student in front of him. His teacher headed right up to him and I could see that he was waving his finger at him while speaking to him. As I got out of the car to walk over to the line, the teacher took his class away. I watched as my boy followed in line with his head hung low, his shoulders slumped. My heart was crushed. I decided that this was going to be his last day of school for this year.

Minutes later, as school was dismissed and Malachy got into the car, I asked him what happened while he was in line. He told me he got yelled at for talking in line. I told him that I wasn't happy with that. I saw most, if not all the kids were talking. I confided in him that this could be his last day of school if he wanted. He pleaded with me to go on the scheduled last day so he could bring home the Father's Day gift he made for daddy. He missed the next day of school, but attended the last day and brought home the gift.

As summer began, I started openly speaking with a few friends about homeschooling. I spoke to some who had been homeschooling their kids and some who just had an opinion. The idea of homeschooling rapidly started becoming more than just a fantasy to us. Research was easy, there are quite a few options in California. My daughter Kristen, forwarded me information on K12. com. I met with a group of homeschooling moms at a local park, one who also went through K12.com system. Before I left in early July on vacation, we made a decision that we would homeschool through the K12.com program and started the procedure of enrolling him with CAVA (California Virtual Academy).

Malachy and I went to visit Kristen and her kids in North Carolina for a few weeks. When we returned home, we went with daddy and the dogs camping for another week. For obvious reasons, I was avoiding the thought of homeschooling. It seemed incredibly overwhelming, to say the least. I pushed it out of my mind.

And then two very large boxes of curriculum came in one afternoon in early August. It took me almost a full week to open them up. When I finally saw the materials, I felt tears and was choked up. I couldn't believe what we were receiving along with the expected Teacher's Guides and workbooks. The science kit, the art kit with all the paints and brushes, the math kits, it was like Christmas! How can this all be free? And then the computer came with the brand new monitor and printer/scanner. Although the hardware is loaned to us while he is enrolled, everything is brand new and fully supported. He will also learn the French language online. I went through all the teachers guides and made a list of supplies we would need. I put together a class schedule, one that would also balance my need to continue going to the gym a few times a week. Slowly but surely, I was starting to get my groove with the whole homeschooling responsibility.

And then it happened. Amidst all my excitement and joy for the upcoming school year, the boy threw a tantrum today. One big, bad, slam-the-doors-while-screaming-at-me-at-the-top-of-his-lungs, tantrum. All because he didn't want to go to the gym's daycare while I take my regular 1 hour, yoga class. You see, this was part of the agreement we made with him. I HAD to have my few weekly classes at the gym and he HAD to attend the daycare there if he was going to be home-schooled. I had recently upgraded my membership to include the child care. If I don't go to my few classes, I will be with this boy, 24/7 and that's not an easy thought. And I'm not about to give up what little I can get for my own peace of mind and exercise. We're talking 3 hours a week of Bonnie-time, folks!

In the end, I lucked out today. Tomorrow, daddy is taking the three kids to Six Flags/Discovery Kingdom. Threatened with not going, he had calmed down and realized that I WILL be going to my yoga class this afternoon. But what about next time? What will be his currency? Threatening him that he'll be back in public school? Somehow I think it's not going to be as cut and dry as I was hoping it would be with him.

After all, he's still a kid.