School's Out For Summer!

Because we pushed hard all during the school year, today is Malachy's last day of CAVA (California Virtual Academy) curriculum, although he still has almost two more weeks of required attendance. And what a ride it's been!

It's unfortunate that CAVA recently changed their summer management, as now they will not allow the kids to work on their CAVA classes during those months. In fact, they would not send forward any fourth grade curriculum even though some of his third grade studies were done months ago. In this particular instance, we purchased fourth grade and Summer Bridge workbooks both online and at Costco to keep him active. One of the things that attracted me to CAVA was their willingness to let the child learn at their own pace, which for Malachy is quicker than average in some courses. Apparently budget cuts are now affecting the online schools in California as well.

My son does so much better in a somewhat structured environment and so we will continue working on our own over the summer. Not all the time, not every day, but for the most part, we will march ever forward so that there will be no "summer slide" for him. Some day in the future, we may find a better way to educate him but for us, right here, right now, this is his best opportunity to work at his own pace under my loving supervision. Furthermore, I do not wish to switch virtual schools or homeschooling methods at this point, because I remember how anxious I was last summer break. I was so filled with worry, wondering if I could even handle homeschooling and if we were truly doing the best thing for his educational needs. This summer I intend to stay balanced, with full knowledge of what to expect in late August when his next school year begins again.

And so here we find ourselves, nearing in completion of one entire home-schooled year. There were days that we thoroughly enjoyed our experience of being home all day together. There were days that I was more than ready to drop him off at the nearest neighborhood school, disappointed with his attitude. There were frustrating times when I had appointments that had to be scheduled around his calendar. There were days when the entire school day was but a picnic and nature walk (science studies, of course), casually observing the birds and animals at our local parks. We homeschooled while camping at majestic Big Sur. There were a few splashes of fun filled CAVA events with other fellow CAVA students, such as bowling, trampoline dodgeball and ice cream socials. He had opportunities for the traditional school room parties, like the Valentine's/Pizza party and the Halloween party. Steve and I threw a Christmas/Holiday party for some of his former school-mates and new homeschooling friends back in December. I believe that Malachy had a positive school memory for third grade, overall.

And so this concludes this blog, as my "newbie" status changes to "experienced". Thank you kindly for allowing me to vent over the past school year. Thank you for letting me share my fears and frustrations. Thank you for your supportive words and guidance. I hope that somehow this light-hearted blog can help another who may be considering undergoing the same quest to provide their child with the finest, parental assisted education.

This has been our story and we're sticking to it! :-D

To everything turn, turn, turn.......

Well, I know it's been a long while since I've written. There have been many changes in the lives of my family since and I haven't been sure what I should do; journal the chaos going around in my mind or bury my head in the sand. Apparently the journaling won out. Oh, aren't you lucky! :-D

In early January of this year, the company Steve worked for was sold to a company headquartered in the Midwest. At first it seemed wonderful because Steve got a bonus which is something his old company never (did I mention never?) gave out. We were able to buy a new SUV that was large enough for the family and for the dogs (all together even!). We sold one of the older vehicles and Steve took over my ancient, but reliable Jeep. We were able to upgrade some household items that were long overdue to change. Life began to feel a little less stressful as the financial woes lessened for us.

Two weeks after his bonus came in he called me from work. He told me he had good news and bad news. Immediately, I figured what was going on and my heart sank for him. His position and a few other's were eliminated. He received a few months severance pay to lighten the blow. For several days, he was alarmingly numb, although considering he had been working there for 11 1/2 years, one might expect that reaction. On the other hand, he had felt that his time was coming to an end at that company, as he had been feeling bored and restless for some time and was considering other options. However unhappy he was there, there was a certain comfort zone that made it difficult to leave in the current economy and so he never really left the security of his current job.

So, there's the boot! Get out and go find your happiness!

In the meantime, I have struggled with the realization that this could mean that I would need to find a job to help out financially in which case, Malachy could no longer be homeschooled. This has been heavy on my mind and in my heart as I know he really prefers the learning environment that he is enrolled in versus his previous neighborhood school system. And both Steve and I, feel the same way. We KNOW the level of education he is getting now, working one on one with him. We wholeheartedly believe in the quality of the CAVA (California Virtual Academy) curriculum and see how much he is absorbing and how fast he is moving forward. I don't like the politics of the neighborhood school and the district. I don't like the idea of having 30 kids to 1 teacher. I don't like the fact that I wouldn't have the same active role in his education as I do now. I like our flexible schedule. No, that's wrong. I LOVE our flexible schedule. He is enrolled in a twice-weekly PE class in the middle of the day where he is learning team sportsmanship, individual achievement, and just plain non-competitive fun. I have had many struggles getting to this point in our homeschooling and they are just starting to iron themselves out. Although we are very flexible in our day to day schoolwork, there is always a level of expectation from myself and from Malachy. By the end of the day, we've gotten our work done. We are always moving forward.

So for the past four or five weeks, this has been my deepest fear for my son and for us. However, I am always the optimist and have tried to focus (manifest) on certain desires regarding the upcoming changes:

Steve is a brilliant man with strong engineering skills, both in software and hardware (no this isn't a pitch for a job for him...heheh). He was a computer geek before most people knew what a personal computer was. I don't have a doubt that he'll soon find a position where he will be an asset to whichever company he joins. In my selfishness, I am hoping (and praying) that he'll find something closer to the area in Northern California where we had fantasized in the past about moving to at some point in the future. At this very moment in our lives, we really aren't tethered to the San Francisco Bay Area anymore. Although the location is only a few short hours away if we want to visit. I'd be able to be back in the countryside where I belong (if Mama ain't happy.....). The brightest note in all of this is that Malachy could continue with CAVA from anywhere in the northern part of the state and not miss a beat if we do move.

The uncertainty is the hardest part for me to deal with. Not knowing. Unaware of my next step, I'm a planner and I am not so spontaneous as I once was. This is where my personal faith comes in.

But truly, what keeps this all in perspective for me, is the comparison of my personal dilemma in life versus the upheaval for the people who live in Japan. Those whose lives have altered in the recent earthquake/tsunami/nuclear melt down. My issues are but miniscule. My heart goes out to their struggles.

www.american.redcross.org

Happy 9th Birthday Malachy!!

Wow. It's been one month and one day since I last posted. Because things have been moving along well regarding school, I felt maybe I would have nothing of interest to you to write about. However, my friend Mary assured me that it still is an achievement that things are balancing out after so much frustration in the beginning.

And they are. There are still little conflicts between us but on most days, he's willing to do what he's supposed to do, when he's supposed to do it. All I really have to do is threaten to send him back to the neighborhood school and he pretty much, shapes right up. I have also used his currency (his laptop time) towards a punishment if he really gets out of line.

All in all, he's doing really well in school. He has been signed up for city-run PE Made EZ for Homeschoolers classes, twice a week. Two of his "Friday Park Day" friends attend it and highly recommend it. He has been attending quite a bit of social activities through CAVA (California Virtual Academy) and meeting new friends. Two weeks ago, he attended a "Trampoline Dodgeball" event and made two more friends, one older and one his age. There are so many opportunities to meet new friends that have a lot in common with him and I see him gaining more self-confidence. This was a very shy boy from the get-go and I'm glad to see him outgrowing that.

So today is his ninth birthday and I'm nostalgic at how fast time flies. I know from experience that as they grow older, they want to move even faster towards adulthood. And then, in a blink of an eye, they are gone. Upward and onward to their own lives. And once they start on that fast moving trend forward, there is no turning back. They fly out of the nest at breakneck speed and the most I can hope for, is that they will look back at their childhood with fondness. That the values I've tried to teach them along the way, assist them to be good and thoughtful people. And how critically important it is to come and visit their mother often. Ha!

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs

So....the holidays kept me quite busy during the entire month of December. We had a little Christmas party & gift exchange for eleven of Malachy's old school and new homeschool buddies. It was really exciting for me to get together with their moms that I had missed so much because of homeschooling. One grandmother visiting from New York, even joined in the fun. The kids were wild with excitement, filled to the brim with pizza, soda, and sugar coated goodies and went home with a little gift and hopefully a warm memory of friendship they will keep for a long time.

The two weeks of a rainy, winter vacation was filled with running errands, visiting friends and family and doing all the necessary chores to usher in the Christmas holiday celebration and the new year.

And it's over. And I'm ever so grateful for that. The house is back to normal, all decorations are stored away in the garage. Toys are organized in their rightful locations. New clothes are hung in the closets. The chaos is over for another year. I can breathe with a calmness I haven't felt in weeks.

During the second week of vacation, we dabbled a little in school work. Just enough to review and to give the boy some much needed structure. This morning, we began with a full, Monday schedule and it went really well. I think we were both really looking forward to a sense of normalcy.

We started just a tad earlier than most days, breezed through several courses, took an hour and a half off for lunch, caught up with two more subjects right after and we were done by 1:30. Nice. I pointed out to Malachy that this was a wonderful day and if he didn't resist so often, most days could be like this.

But! I've been around the block a few times and I'm aware that tomorrow may be a completely different story. Worthy of another blog, I'm sure.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A non-eventful kind of day....

The San Francisco gloomy weather has arrived. The sun didn't peek out all day, we just sat in a heap of chilly, December fog.

This morning we started out on time with our studies, but only got 1/2 way through before my motivation took a major nose-dive. I just didn't feel like doing any more school work. Not that the boy was giving me a hard time, I just have a big case of the blahs. And not that I had a bunch of other exciting things to do either, I pretty much only did minimal housework on the side. I guess maybe I'm more than a little bored with the status quo around here and need some changes.

In fact, this posting is pretty boring too. And I'm sorry about that. I'm hoping tomorrow I can get back into the groove of things. A good night's sleep does wonders for me.

The Silver Lining.

Well I feel better.

Today at "Park Day", I met a new mom to the area. She's been homeschooling four kids for six years. Yes, I said four kids and yes, I said six years. Now, SHE deserves a medal! We talked about our past week and I shared that I had a pretty difficult one with my son. He's been whiny, he's been obstinate, he's been distracted, he's been needy, he's always hungry and I just need a break from being with him 24/7. When I told her that I was threatening him to send him back to regular school after the Winter break, she said she was relieved that she wasn't the only one that has been having issues and at times, questions her commitment. Wow. I am relieved to know I'm not the only one.

We laughed and made light of the situation with our kids. And a fairly difficult week, ends on a humorous note. Thank you Amy and welcome to the Bay Area.

The Freshman Fifteen

I'm disappointed.

Fall 2009, I had enthusiastically joined the local gym, mostly because of the wonderful classes they were offering and also, to give me the incentive to lose some of that lovely, extra weight that had been slowly creeping up over the past few years. I had been happily going to the gym, attending classes or working out on the machines, almost every day. By the time last Spring rolled around, I lost 15 pounds and felt MAW-VELOUS! I pulled out my smaller clothes that had been boxed away for a few years and was in much better health, as I also battle with high glucose levels and over the past two years, high blood pressure. Some of the women in the classes have become supportive friends that I enjoy seeing several times each week and I absolutely adore my dance/yoga teacher. Everything about the gym has been positive. Well, except for yesterday, when I decided (after avoiding altogether) to stand on the dreaded, fancy scale in the women's locker room. Bleh.

Since Malachy's summer break started last June and especially since home-schooling had begun in late August, I am ashamed to admit that I have gained nearly every, stinking, ugly pound back. I have become much less active, using the gym much less frequently than I did last year at this time. During the day time, we are busy with our heads in the books and working on the computer so that by the time the afternoon comes along, I am too exhausted to work out. Last year, I was taking the dogs for walks in the hills, every few days, and now they too suffer. My clothes are feeling tight and uncomfortable and I am always feeling tired and sluggish. I can relate to that young adult whose life has changed so much during that first year away at college, including that inevitable weight gain.

Facing the facts, I woke up on this rainy Saturday with a determination I haven't felt since last Fall. I reopened my Livestrong/MyPlate account and I am going to start counting calories again and registering my daily fitness. Yes, I know, we are right smack in the beginning of the holiday/Christmas season and I will be bombarded with good food and sweets every where I turn. But I know myself and I know how stubborn I am. When I make up my mind, it's going to happen. And in this case, it's a good thing.

The boy and I, WILL be taking the dogs on walks through the hills (his physical education) on weekdays, whether he likes it or not. I WILL be flexible to adjust some of his daily classes so I can get on the cardio-machines more during the weekdays when I'm not feeling so wiped out. I will make smarter food choices. Hey, is that the theme from Rocky going around in my head right now?

That's it! The Freshman Fifteen and I are at battle and I know who is going to win this war! Welcome back determination!

:-)

PS. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks.

Here we are, one week before Thanksgiving 2010, the start of the frenzied, Holiday season. This is the time of year when I am most homesick for my home state, (New Hampshire) and my very large, extended family who mostly still all live there. And although most of Steve's family live in this area near where we live, the celebrations of the holidays are just not the same as the traditions I grew up with and raised my daughters in. Nor is the local weather. It's kind of difficult for me to imagine Christmas lights strung around palm trees and soft, warm days in the 60s and 70s as part of the holiday season. And celebrating Christmas has become a no-no in the public schools, at least around here. I do understand why, but it takes away some more of the magic of the holiday season for the kids.

I can fondly remember layers of woolen clothing that had to be peeled off in the crowded hallways before school started. Jacket, boots, snow-pants, mittens, hats, scarves...all wet with little chunks of snow stuck to them. Before recess, the teachers would assist some of us that had a harder time putting back on all that snow gear and we'd go outside for a quick dash in the snow. They'd be kids lined up and sliding on their bottoms down the little embankments, rolling snowmen on the field (and even tossing a few at each other before the teacher on yard duty would catch you), or just making squiggly trails in the freshly fallen snow while chasing each other. And although we were probably shivering with cold and cheeks as red as apples, and our clothing soaking wet, most of us LOVED it!

Every classroom had their own Christmas tree and the students would decorate it with colored, paper chains and popcorn. We'd make hanging paper lanterns in the traditional red and green colors of Christmas and beautiful, original snowflakes were stapled to all the walls. There was always a holiday concert and a Christmas play that the entire school participated in. Santa Claus would even make his hurried appearance before having to run back to the North Pole for his final touches. The excitement in the air was so electric you could feel it as you walked onto school grounds. On the last day before break, the children would have a present exchange. More often than not, I walked away with a book of festive Lifesavers candy that I would probably finish within two days.

Living in the San Francisco bay area with the large diversity of cultures and religions, I am in complete awareness and understanding why the schools won't focus on Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and/or the many other holidays that different families around the world celebrate. I'm just saying, it's different now. But, I know for my son, he has no clue what he missed out on. He's only been in snow once, in 2005. We went back to New Hampshire for two weeks during the holidays. And boy, they sure know how to decorate and celebrate Christmas back there! Malachy was only three years old at the time and I know he barely remembers it. My two daughters were older when we moved to California and are lucky to have memories of the snow and the local traditions. However on the other hand, when we did move to California, being able to use your roller skates outside on Christmas day, push your new baby doll in the new stroller, or ride your new Christmas scooter because it was warm and sunny out, was a fresh and novel experience for all of us.

Since before Malachy was born, I have struggled with creating our own traditions as I am still under the magic spell of my childhood memories of what the holidays are "supposed" to be like. But what I have been blind to and what has just come to light very recently, has been the fact that whatever we've been doing all along, ARE the traditions he will grow up to remember and try to pass onto his kids. This epiphany has given me glimpses of excitement, rather than dread for the upcoming weeks. Having him home-schooled, especially during the holiday season, puts me in charge of how we'll celebrate and what we'll participate in. My house, my rules! Truly, this is the beauty of homeschooling and I'm very thankful to have this opportunity to do so.

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.......

So this has been, for the most part an uneventful week. This is a good thing, compared to life lately.

On Wednesday, Steve insisted on going back to work, as he is feeling a lot better. Malachy has been chugging along at a good pace with his studies. Yesterday, Veteran's Day, was a school vacation day, however we pushed a little further in History and Art, as those were the two subjects that were lagging a bit in progress. Things were going along just fine, UNTIL.....

this morning's dance class. Since our first meltdown back in late August (with attending the gym's daycare) and my advising him that he'd be going back to his neighborhood school if he continued to give me a hard time about going, things have gone surprisingly well there. Despite the fact that most of the children that attend the daycare are babies and toddlers, he has actually met a few kids around his age that come regularly. One boy's name is Roman and they are usually together for the Friday morning dance class. There have been no issues for weeks, until today.

Into the daycare, walk two brothers, age 8 and 4, complete with bad attitudes. Malachy and Roman had been playing in a corner of the daycare, pretending to be characters from the video game, "Donkey Kong". Bad boy #1 asked them what game they were playing, to which Malachy replied "Donkey Kong". Bad boy #2, laughed at them and told them that was a stupid game and that's when the trouble began. Bad boy #2 continued to call them babies and other names and pretended to throw things at them. Meanwhile, the daycare teacher has a baby in her arms and a toddler hanging onto her leg. Malachy got really upset then, too upset actually, and went to the daycare teacher and angrily told her to put the two boys in time out. And of course, she wasn't taking orders from an 8 year old at that time, and just told them all to behave. Bad boy #1 continued to tease the other two, which caused Malachy to show his gorilla side and went off on him, screaming. At this point, the front desk attendant interrupted my dance class and pulled me out to tell me I was wanted in the daycare. Oh yippee! I walk over and there is Malachy crying, his face as red as a beet and he yelled to me as I was just opening the door to go in, "These boys are teasing me and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!". I asked the teacher what was going on and she replied with a question, "Does he have a bit of a bad temper?". Thrown off balance by not really knowing what was going on, I gathered my things, grabbed my boy and we went home.

I calmed him down and after hearing his side of the story, I realized he is 1)overly sensitive , 2) overreacting, 3) not equipped with the right things to say or do when teased. I've seen this happen with him before. The truth is, I know where he gets this from.

Growing up, we were never allowed to talk back, never allowed to get into a confrontation, or to ever question authority. Pretty much, I was a very submissive little girl that grew into a compliant young lady, always bending over backwards to please. Its only in my forties that I have had the courage to stand up for myself with others. I don't want this for my boy. I want him to have a back-bone and stand up to bullies, or have thicker skin so they don't even begin to bother him. I can't always be with him (although lately it seems this is the deal), he needs the right skills to do this for himself. So over the coming weekend, I am going to research ways on how to deal with bullies. I figure we'll do some role playing and hopefully, he'll learn that he can protect himself in ways without blowing a gasket and/or getting in trouble with those in authority.

And maybe I'll learn a thing or two too. So look out, bullies! HERE WE COME!

The Internet Is Magic!

Having Steve home due to his accident/surgery, has surprisingly enabled me to do a few things that I normally don't have the time for as he's been helping with the homeschooling. For example, this morning I researched who has been reading this humble, little blog. It put a big smile on my face this morning to see that my original, written word has made it all the way from the United States to the United Arab Emirates. From Canada to Argentina, from the United Kingdom to Slovenia, Denmark, Iran, Germany and Russia!

And with my words, I hope that I have given insight as to what my little, American family struggles with, and hopes for, and in the end, laughs about. In my heart, I know that all of us humans are connected in this brief journey we share on Earth. We all want the same things for our children, in whatever form it comes in, where ever we may reside. Whether it be a decent education, memories of a great childhood, an extended caring and loving family, prosperity, freedom from war and disease; these are universal desires.

The internet has made us a smaller world with so much more in common than anyone ever realized before. And it thrills me to no end to be a tiny speck in it.

Thank you.

They never listen; large or small.....

So this has been quite the interesting week. Last Friday, Steve told me he wanted to go mountain biking with a neighbor on Saturday morning into the early afternoon. Seeing that we had an early Halloween party that particular day, I asked him not to go (he always comes home later than he says he will). He promised me he would be home in plenty of time to dress up in costume and go. Reluctantly, I agreed that he could go.

Saturday morning I got up early as I needed to get Layla's nails clipped at the shop. I also needed to run to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients to bake some festive cupcakes that I intended to bring to the party. When we got home, I started baking the cupcakes and organizing our costumes. We were going to be a caveman couple and Malachy was the Grim Reaper. Lovely mix...

Just before noon, I could hear the phone ringing. I thought to myself, please let this be Steve so I know he'll be home in time for the party. He usually calls me as he's leaving from his ride to come home. Because the phone was upstairs and these bones are getting too old to run upstars as fast as I once could, I missed the call. Caller ID said it was from Steve. So I listened to the message he left for me.

Stuart was now on the Dumbarton Bridge, driving him to the emergency room as he crashed on the trails and he believed he broke his collarbone. He told me that his bone was sticking up, out of his shoulder area. Gross. So I shut off the oven, called to Malachy and we met him there. A few hours and a bunch of x-rays later, we discovered that he did not have any fractures, but he did have a serious separation. They sent him home to ice it, along with some handy-dandy pain medicine and told him to call the orthopedic doctor on Monday when they are open for the week.

Oh yes, it gets better....

On Monday, Steve went to the doctor. The doctor told him that he needed surgery in order for them to bring the shoulder joint and his clavicle back to where they should be. He was scheduled for late in the day on Tuesday.

Monday, we got the bare necessities completed during homeschooling. Tuesday, I tried to push a little more, since it helped take our minds off of the upcoming surgical procedure.

Steve went into surgery at 5:00 and was home by 9:00 in the evening. The surgery went well, but he had a terrible reaction to the anesthesia. The pain meds knocked him out that evening and he got some sleep, however, I got very little.

Wednesday, Malachy was really dragging his feet with his school work. We started late, he had too many breaks as I needed to attend to Steve often, and then we ended the school day fairly late as well. Knowing that Steve has to be home for two weeks to recover, I really wondered how I was going to be able to juggle the school work and now the nursing duties as well as everything else I had to get done.

Last night, I again tossed and turned. Couldn't sleep and when I did, I had strange and upsetting dreams. I woke up soaking wet and shivering from sweating. This morning, I woke up to lower back pain, the same pain that comes and goes and that which I have been been struggling with for a long time. I couldn't sit very well or for any amount of time in the computer chair. I took some Alieve and went along my merry way.

After taking care of dog and bunny responsibilities, starting laundry, changing sheets, cooking breakfast, getting Malachy's school day organized and then straightening the living room (which has become Steve's hospital room) all before 9:00am, I was getting a little cranky. Just a little! So Steve said he would help me with cleaning. The guy is wearing a sling and can't hardly move his body, what the heck did he think he would be able to help me with? But I had a better and a brilliant idea!!

Today for school, Malachy had a substitute teacher. His name is Mr. Saeedi. He went through all Malachy's subjects with him, with the exception of his Literature which I can help him with after lunch. And I got to even lie down for a half hour to rest my back. I'm feeling better already.

Maybe having Mr. Saeedi home for two weeks, won't be so difficult after all. Steve may not be able to use a vacuum cleaner for some time, or mow the lawn, or continue with his dedicated poop-patrol, but I have a feeling he can still be very valuable to both me and the boy. I told him that you don't need two arms to help a boy with his education. Just a lot of patience and a sense of humor, can go very far.

Luciano Pavarotti he is not.

So far today, my boy has decided to answer everything I ask him, singing in opera. Math questions, spelling words and language skills, so far, all in opera.

At least this tells me he is in a good mood and I will allow him to continue this way even though it is wearing out my very last nerve.

And to my rescue is my yoga class this afternoon. Man, I am SO looking forward to the peace of mind it brings me.

I need a Secret Garden!

I'm feeling really frustrated on this Friday evening. The dogs have been a PITA since we returned from camping on Tuesday. Barking constantly outside and inside, which of course, is a total distraction when it comes to trying to teach Malachy something. I bring them in, they bark to the outside world. Outside, they bark at everything and anything and to come in.

Malachy has also been giving me a hard time this week. Two, large temper tantrums this morning over a simple spelling lesson, caused him to lose the privilege of attending Park Day with his new friends this afternoon. Later on after we were finished with school, he went out to play out back on his swing-set. Through the kitchen window, I saw him spraying the camper with the hose so I called him in. When I went out to check the camper, I found out that he pried open the door and pulled things out (we had just cleaned it thoroughly and winterized it). He sprayed said camper with the garden hose inside some vents, which I still don't know if and how much damage that caused as I'm still waiting for Steve to get home so we can decide if we need to pop up the entire thing. And then the dogs were also "mysteriously" soaking wet when I went out there. It's just been one of those craptastic days where you wished you never got up out of bed in the morning.

The boy has had his dinner and now is confined to his bedroom for the evening. I've had enough of dealing with him today.

This is where it gets really hard to deal with the whole homeschooling bit. I'm with him WAAAAY too much. I have realized that being home all the time, I've become much more inactive. I feel sluggish all the time now. I used to take the dogs for walks through the Coyote Hills. Forcing him to go with me would be worse than having dental surgery without Novocain. I have to depend on availability of the Gym's daycare and their quickly filled reservation limits and short hours to attend my classes. This week, the gym had an "emergency" and wasn't taking any reservations at all. I missed THREE of my classes this week and I'm feeling quite PO'd about it. Steve is gone most evenings until after 7:00, which really puts a damper on my workout plans. And lately I've been so exhausted by then that I just want to wind down and go to bed.

Taking Malachy on errands this week has been quite tiresome as well. He doesn't stop talking. The boy cannot stop asking questions that I can't possibly know the answer of. "What is the largest castle in the world?", "Not sure Malachy, we can google it later". "How many rooms does the Windsor Castle have". "Not sure, Malachy. We can google it later". "How many square feet do you think the Windsor Castle has?". "I'm not sure, Malachy. We can google it later." "How many people live in the Windsor Castle?"."What if someone built a long, long mansion covering the tops of the Fremont Hills? How many rooms would that have?". AaaaAAAaaaah!

Being banned to his room for the night, he's finally quiet, I can still hear Layla barking non-stop at the airplanes coming into Oakland Airport (sorry neighbors) and wanting to come in and I just need some ME time. No kids, no dogs...just want to be alone in my head for a time. Steve won't be home until 7:00 - 7:30 and at this point, I'm already too drained to go work out. What the hell was I thinking? Calgon couldn't even help, unless I wear earplugs and lock the door. (Hmmm...now there's an idea!)

Let's hope Steve remembers to bring home the wine.

Big Sur Academy?

Our first attempt at "off-campus" homeschooling wasn't what I had hoped it would be.

We decided to take a two night camping trip down the California coast to an area called Big Sur, leaving this past Sunday morning. To those of you not familiar with Big Sur, it is truly one of the most spectacular and famous, scenic areas along the entire California coastline. Scary too (especially for those of US who have a fear of heights), as some of the roads wind above the rocky cliffs that drop hundreds of feet straight down to the crashing seashore.

Our departure on Sunday had us driving in pouring rain, the first rain of the fall season. I drove the Jeep which pulls the camper because Steve sits in the back to "help out" our forever, car-sick dog, Chloe (he catches her multiple vomit sessions in a bag, he's gotten really good at the timing). Needless to say (but I will), my nerves were absolutely shot by the time we got there.

We arrived at the campsite by noon and had to set up the tent trailer in the pouring rain, but luckily we were somewhat sheltered under the majestic coastal redwood trees. After we popped it up, cleaned up the mud that soon covered the linoleum floor, we were able to appreciate where we found ourselves. Our site was by far, the best one in the campground, as our door opened up right to the shoreline of the crystal-clear, Big Sur River (large rocky stream). The aroma of the dense, wet forest was everything we were hoping for to calm our busy, city dwelling nervous systems. The rain completely stopped by 2:00 pm, the sun came out and we fired up the grill for lunch.

As we were researching campgrounds, among other great amenities, this campground/resort boasted wifi availability as most campgrounds now offer. I figured that we would do our lessons early in the morning and head out to explore the area in the afternoons. We had brought everything we needed for two days of homeschooling for the boy.

After lunch, Steve walked over to the campground office to get the wireless info. He returned with bad news. The campground itself did NOT have wifi, however the restaurant on the grounds did. Ger-rate! What kid is going to be focused in a restaurant atmosphere? In reality, probably zero to none. And I certainly didn't want to sit in a restaurant and go through his lessons.

Thankfully, I packed a few testing workbooks for literature which didn't need the computer. I brought his math books, so we were able to work off-line and review some of his recent math lessons. I tried to throw a little of science (he's learning "ecosystems" in science) into our river-side play. He read his book each night before bed.

All and all, the actual "homeschooling" was not a complete wash, but only a disappointment as we now need to catch up with some of his skipped lessons over the few days left of this week. All was not lost as I learned my own lesson in the future to ASK if wifi is available at the campsite itself.

The camper is now being packed away for the winter months. This will give up ample time to find THE perfect spot that will allow us to cover all we need to school-wise and still have the experience of being cuddled by the glorious arms of Mother Nature.

What? Aren't the banks and Post Office closed?

Well today had an interesting start. For weeks now, I've had on Malachy's calendar that today was a school holiday (Columbus Day). Steve's daughter spent the weekend with us and had no school today as well, although she lives in a different city. However, a neighbor whose children go to the local school here, told Steve that there was school in Fremont. I thought that was strange.

Upon awakening this morning, I decided to log into Malachy's online school just to double check. The school was logging attendance. I shot off a quick email to his teacher to see if today was a school day or a holiday. She informed me that it was indeed a school day. I looked back at the scheduled days off and noticed that it's 11/11 that he has off, not today which happens to be 10/11. Gerrrr-ate! Now to break the news to my boy who was still lounging around in bed, watching an iCarly repeat.

After a brief bout of verbal disappointment (fancy way of saying he threw a little tantrum), he had his breakfast and we settled in at his desk to begin the day. I figured I would keep it easy today since I am the one that initially screwed up.

We went through his French class, spelling class and math. We also did his language arts. Then we took a break, had some Halloween costume shopping to do (fun, fun!) and enjoyed a rare lunch out to celebrate his ten star days. We came home, put away the shopping bags and are finishing up on the last of his classes today.

In the end, not too bad of a day, both school and personal. Phew! That was a close call!

My gratitude to you.

Because of my last, desperate-sounding post, I received a tremendous amount of support and I am so grateful for the lift it gave me. I wrote the post Tuesday morning and by Wednesday, because of the kind words and helpful advice I received, I felt so much better. So thank you to all of you who continue to support me on this crazy journey of mine to help educate my precious boy.

Today, being Thursday, is usually our "cram-in" day. I like to push a little harder on Thursdays so we can ease up on things for our Friday Park Day. Yesterday and today have been moving so easily because Malachy has had such a great attitude. It's barely one o'clock and we're almost done for the day.

What I'm finding out, is that it's not going to be perfect every day or every week. I just need to hang in there, take a break if I need to, and know that it WILL get better. (BREATHE!) Yet during my good days, I have to know that there is a very good chance that it will not be the same tomorrow. And I suppose, all in all, it's the way life goes.

Namaste.

Where's the escape hatch?

Irritability is setting in.

Malachy's friend from his previous school, Montana, had a birthday party over the weekend. It was the first time I saw the moms of some of his little friends from that school in a very long time (months and months). It was such a nice visit and made me realize how much I miss seeing them and sharing laughter. In the past, Montana's mom Susan and I shared Room Mom duties in kindergarten and saw each other twice a day for three years. During the summer months, we'd all get together once a week for a park day. Susan moved away last December and we have only been together once since. Life gets in the way.

So here I am, feeling more than a bit isolated and my plate is so full of responsibilities that I can't just abandon. I'm so involved with teaching Malachy, but all my regular chores are starting to pile up. Literally. The dogs are annoying me with their constant barking at everything. The cat is incessantly meowing in the garage (time to go out!). Malachy's need to do cartwheels every five minutes right alongside me is driving me batty. He talks to me in his made up-language or is constantly giving me facts about rollercoasters. I just don't want to deal with any of this today but I know I have made the choice and can't back out of it. There are times I just want to run away (Bonnie fantasy) and be free of everything.

Today is one of those days where I'm wondering "WHAT WAS I THINKING?". I am losing my individuality a little more each day.

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. - Stanley Horowitz

Last week was one hot week for the San Francisco Bay area and beyond! All summer long, we experienced one of the coolest and breeziest summers on record which was a big disappointment for me as I love summer heat. And because of the unseasonably brisk weather, we decided to drain the pool a week ago. Go figure!

On Monday, the local temps hit over 90 degrees. Tuesday, it hit 101, Wednesday it was still 100. Thursday cooled down to about 95 and by Friday, it was down to 80 degrees. All over the Bay Area records were broken.

Like a lot of people living so close to the San Francisco Bay, we don't have air conditioning in our two story house. Downstairs, the thermostat read 85 degrees every day last week. Although we have ceiling fans and regular oscillating fans (ooOOOOoooh!), we baked. I would get up early and prepare the house to keep it as cool as possible through the day. My effort was not obvious, until you stepped outside and felt as if you walked straight into a burning oven. 85 degrees was definitely more tolerable than one might realize.

And as you might imagine, extreme heat is not conducive to learning. No amount of popsicles or iced lemonade drinks rescued us. I had a brilliant idea and decided to see if we could work in the Main library downtown. Upon driving there, we realized that everyone in the city must have been thinking the same thing, because there was not one parking space available in the entire lot! Bummer! So we stopped, got a smoothie and came back home. The dogs were happy to see us return because they too could then escape the torturous heat and come inside.

We worked through our most important subjects in the mornings, took long breaks during the hottest parts of the day and then as the evening began, we'd catch up with the rest. One of the very best assets of homeschooling is that we set our own schedules. Even still, this wasn't one of the easiest weeks to homeschool.

And as I remember the famous quote, "Patience is a Virtue", I am reminded again how important it is to have an abundance of patience during these stressful times. Gratefully, the notorious San Francisco fog once again graciously rolled in from the ocean, over the hills and through the sweltering cities persuading everyone that, no we weren't dreaming, Autumn really did arrive last week.

Just saying.....

I have to believe that I grew up in an era that promoted children's imaginations. Of course this was prior to television cable with a zillion and one channels, fast computers, video games, cell phones and texting, Gameboys, iPods, etc. This was a time when kids played with other kids outside, all day "until the street lights come on". Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, we were almost always out there. Playing with the neighborhood kids was the highlight of my childhood. The parents were on board as well and everyone kept their eyes out for all.

Our mothers would send us outside as soon as we were done breakfast, were dressed and our teeth and hair brushed. Or, because there were no fences in our neighborhood, we'd go out as soon as we'd see another kid out in their backyard. Soon at least a half a dozen kids would be playing together, sometimes as many as fifteen kids consisting of many different age groups. Sometimes we'd play school in our carport, or we'd all be riding bikes up and down the street, playing cops and robbers. The older kids would write plays and the younger ones would act them out. There were times we'd make magic shows and charge the adults pennies to come and watch. And they would come! Sometimes a small group of us would play with our Matchbox cars in a large sandbox. Very often, we'd pull out our beloved baby dolls and doll strollers and play house,which was always my favorite activity. We'd sometimes even take picnic lunches through the woods to the beaver dam or walk "The Bumblebee Trail" with the bigger kids in charge. In the dead of the winter, the kids dragged their sleds and toboggans to the neighborhood hill and we'd be sliding until the sky was pink with the sunset. We'd all look out for each other and if memory serves me right, it seems we all got along pretty well.

Nowadays, I have to pull my son off his computer as he could spend hours creating rollercoasters or watching goofy YouTube videos about a crazy, annoying animated orange! He would watch cartoon after cartoon and then play his Wii games until the cows came home if I didn't object. But I do object, and I do force him out to play. But it's not the same. And he is almost always alone.

Once outside, he'll happily swing on his swing set and I watch him from the kitchen window and gasp as his eyes are closed and he makes himself go all crazy and upside down on it. I can only assume he is pretending to be on a rollercoaster. He'll take his bike out and ride around in circles, again sometimes closing his eyes for short moments and screaming as if he's on an amusement ride. He'll round up the two dogs and try to teach them tricks or grab their leashes and walk them around the back yard. But this all tends to be short-lived. When he would come in, he'd want to head right back to the computer.

Since we've started school, I made a rule that there is to be no TV before and during the school day. There is to be no video game playing and no computer usage (except for supervised studies). At first, he had a hard time adjusting to finding alternate things to do with his free time. What I have noticed recently, is that he has been pulling out his toys from his past. Toys that have rarely been used and long-sinced packed away in his closet, like Lego blocks and Tinker Toys. His Matchbox cars, road & street carpet and toy buildings have come out. I see him playing with his Woody doll and making it do gymnastics. And I hear him talking to himself, immersed in his imagination. He's beginning to choose these activities over the computer games.

This is what childhood should be about. Free play. Why is it so rare to see the neighborhood kids out and playing together these days? In our current society, is it easier for a parent to feel secure that their child is tucked away in the next room, hooked on his video game than it is to worry about his personal safety outside? Has it become too difficult in this busy, stressful world for the parents to find time to supervise the kids outside? Is the world that much more dangerous than it was 40 years ago? Childhood health issues, obesity, cyber bullying, gang activity, teen drug and pregnancy, and childhood depression seems to have sky-rocketed since that bygone era.

If I had one wish, I would turn back the clock for my boy. If only he could experience just one weekend day of what we had as kids. I am convinced he'd leave the Gameboy stashed in his dresser, grab a cookie and run outside to join the gang waiting for him on the front step. That would the one kind of gang I'd be happy for him to join!

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. Bill Watterson

Fridays are our social day. In the mornings, I have a dance class with some very lovely ladies. I laugh the entire time as well as exercise. It's what I look forward to each week. Along with the other kids, Malachy watches whatever cartoon is on in the gym's daycare.

On Friday afternoons, we head over to a local park to meet with the other homeschooling families for a few hours of letting loose. The kids run and play and the moms (and sometimes dads) chat and compare notes. This is usually just after lunch, so the actual time we have for lessons in between the two events is a tiny window. Malachy has a great time with Zoe and Perry, and is making more friends each week.

In order to make both events, our Fridays are very loose. We usually get in the essentials. Yesterday, because I also had to run some errands, we were only able to accomplish his french lesson. It was agreed yesterday that we'd play catch up today (Saturday). Daddy is at an all day bicycle event and we had no prior plans. We talked about it yesterday, we talked about it last night before bed. Everyone was on board.

This morning, we slept in until almost 9:00 (a rarity in the home as we are all up at the crack of dawn each morning, and if we aren't, the dogs will make sure we are). The extra sleep felt so good, I felt so well rested. Upon waking, Malachy was cheery and bright. Breakfast was out on the patio since it is an incredibly beautiful morning. Birds are singing, dogs are NOT barking, bunnies are hopping about....ah, life is good!

The joy de vivre was too short-lived. The boy has decided and is adamant that weekends are NOT for studying and he has refused to do any school work. I countered and reminded him that Fridays ARE for school, so Park Day will be out next week. He looks forward to his Park Day as much as I look forward to my dance class. Some colorful mouthing off to me and he's been sent to his room without the privilege of his TV or computer games. He'll be staying in there until he has a change of attitude, even if it takes all day. And while he's quiet now and the house is once again calm, I realize I've been played.

It reminded me of a time when I was very pregnant for him. Steve and I offered Kelley (a freshman at the time) and Winter (in elementary school) to go see the new Harry Potter movie at the theaters if they promised that when we got back, they'd go rake up a certain section of the back yard. Both were very excited and happily agreed. We left and enjoyed the movie and snacks. Upon our return, neither girl was interested in holding up their end of the bargain. We insisted they do their share. Reluctantly they went out with rakes dragging behind them. One sat on the ground, tossing around leaves, while the other bitched and moaned the entire time and went on about how unfair we were.

I thought I had learned my lesson when it comes to kids and compromises. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.